Lenders By Any Other Name

I assume that if you regularly read, watch or listen to any news source that you’re fairly knowledgeable on the game players in the financial markets, however underhanded they have been at cheating investors, homeowners, and every other segment of the economy. But what about your neighbors, friends and relatives? Are they also “in the know” or just breezing through the economic mess in denial or, more likely, oblivious to the world outside their favorite reality shows, sports and show biz gossip?

If a conversation should arise about the economy and you start throwing out names of troubled financial institutions, you might want to give them definitions that would make sense to anyone less informed so as not to unduly alarm them.

Lehman Brothers – An exclusive haberdashery.

Goldman Sachs – An outlet store of Saks on Fifth Avenue.

J.P. Morgan – One of the partners of the Law Offices of Morgan & Morgan.

Morgan Chase – An ambulance-chaser service of Morgan & Morgan.

AIG – Artificial Intelligence Group, which happens to be a fair description.

Standard and Poor’s – Business liquidity ratings: par and sub-par.
No company currently qualifies for a higher rating.

Washington Mutual – Bipartisanship on Capitol Hill.

SEC – Collegiate Southeast Conference (Go Gators!)

Securities and Exchange Commission – Brokers on Wall Street trading other people's securities in exhange for hefty commissions.

Wall Street – a barren dead end street.


These definitions won’t give you personally an ease of mind, but others are best left in blissful ignorance because what they don’t know won’t create undo concern, as if they could do anything about it anyway.